As I sit and reflect on the past year I am so amazed by God’s love for me.  The fact that He desired for my heart to heal is precious and overwhelming to me.  You see when Scott died I thought I would never move forward from the excruciating pain of it all.  In fact I know other moms who have held onto the pain.  Not to say I am better then them.  I just have a grace that is boundless and powerful.  Plus I serve the God of the universe and in my weakness He is made strong.  Going through the bible study “Lord Heal my Hurts” by Kay Arthur was life changing for me.  There was something that Kay said early in here book that really allowed me to work the process of healing. 

“You can be healed.  When I say healed, I don’t mean you’ll never experience pain again.  Nor do I mean that the past will never again rear it’s ugly head.  I mean you will be able to deal with your hurt in such a way that you will “live as more than a conqueror.”  You will have God’s answer on how to deal with your hurt so that it doesn’t harm you but works together for your good.”

Isn’t that powerful?  I mean think about it…”more than a conqueror”.  I would be more than a mom who has “survived” burying her child.  I would be healed….This really was a huge piece of the healing puzzle for me.  I kept thinking that if I am healed or if I ask God to heal me does that mean I will never be sad about Scott dying?  Does it mean people will forget him?  Does it mean life is just peachy?  When I read the above from her book I was filled with hope and a future that only God can bring.  I knew that no matter whether I was having a good day or a bad day I would be  healed of the hopelessness and the anger and the bitterness.  Plus I had always said I could be sad and joyful at the same time.  I felt like I was being faithless when I had a bad day because God should be able to sustain me so I would not have bad days.  I felt like here was someone that understood that.  Most people would look at me like I was crazy when I would say that “I can be joyful and sad at the same time.”  So knowing that even once God healed my hurts I would still have “bad” days was so encouraging to me. I also knew that it was OK to miss my son and have bad days….Oh such sweet hope for a future that would be filled with joy and contentment….

So my friend know that no matter what pain or hurts you have God can heal them for you.  Just ask…

To God Be The Glory!!!!