As I sit and reflect on the past year I am so amazed by God’s love for me.  The fact that He desired for my heart to heal is precious and overwhelming to me.  You see when Scott died I thought I would never move forward from the excruciating pain of it all.  In fact I know other moms who have held onto the pain.  Not to say I am better then them.  I just have a grace that is boundless and powerful.  Plus I serve the God of the universe and in my weakness He is made strong.  Going through the bible study “Lord Heal my Hurts” by Kay Arthur was life changing for me.  There was something that Kay said early in here book that really allowed me to work the process of healing. 

“You can be healed.  When I say healed, I don’t mean you’ll never experience pain again.  Nor do I mean that the past will never again rear it’s ugly head.  I mean you will be able to deal with your hurt in such a way that you will “live as more than a conqueror.”  You will have God’s answer on how to deal with your hurt so that it doesn’t harm you but works together for your good.”

Isn’t that powerful?  I mean think about it…”more than a conqueror”.  I would be more than a mom who has “survived” burying her child.  I would be healed….This really was a huge piece of the healing puzzle for me.  I kept thinking that if I am healed or if I ask God to heal me does that mean I will never be sad about Scott dying?  Does it mean people will forget him?  Does it mean life is just peachy?  When I read the above from her book I was filled with hope and a future that only God can bring.  I knew that no matter whether I was having a good day or a bad day I would be  healed of the hopelessness and the anger and the bitterness.  Plus I had always said I could be sad and joyful at the same time.  I felt like I was being faithless when I had a bad day because God should be able to sustain me so I would not have bad days.  I felt like here was someone that understood that.  Most people would look at me like I was crazy when I would say that “I can be joyful and sad at the same time.”  So knowing that even once God healed my hurts I would still have “bad” days was so encouraging to me. I also knew that it was OK to miss my son and have bad days….Oh such sweet hope for a future that would be filled with joy and contentment….

So my friend know that no matter what pain or hurts you have God can heal them for you.  Just ask…

To God Be The Glory!!!!

I am not sure if you all are thinking this is good or bad…LOL  BUT I am back…for now. 

I really could not believe how long it had been since I last blogged.  Over a year.  WOW!  Time flies…

So this past year has been an amazing year for me.  When we were asked at care-group what we thought God’s theme was for the past year and for this year my first thought was Heal my hurts….Pay it forward.

So I will start with last year of Heal my hurts.  God has been so good to me this past year.  It will be a year ago February 26 that I received my Cochlear Implant.  What a miracle that has been.  I do not even think I have the words to describe the difference in my life.  The surgery went amazingly well.  The recovery was difficult but not as painful as I was anticipating…Praise God!!!  After the first month they activated the implant.  It was sarcastically referred to in my house as my turn on date…LOL  Adult kids can be so funny.  Any way the first day I could not really tolerate a lot of sound.  By the time I got home I had a headache and felt sick to my stomach.  By the next morning it sounded to quiet already. I went back the next day and they turned it up a lot.  By the end of the weekend it was to quiet again.  I went back 6 more times over the next 6 months.  Each time they would adjust it.  The last couple of visits they tested my hearing with the implant in and I was in the normal range.  That is just so amazing to me.  They did word recognition and I was above normal for that.  Meaning I could recognize words without reading lips.  Thank you Lord!!!  It had been years like 6-10 since I could do that.  This was really life changing and a miracle.  Since I could hear again it just opened a whole new world for me.  Seriously I could hear the whole message on Sundays.  I could go to care-group and catch almost all that was being said.  I could have a date with my hubby that included a movie.  Funny side note here.  We did not take advantage of that til about 2 weeks ago.  we were just so used to not being able to go to the movies that we forgot that I could go now…LOL  I could hear my great nieces laugh and call me Aunt Donna.  It was all so precious and so amazing to me.  One of the most blessed things was I could do the ladies bible study and hear the video.  God has healed so much of my heart with this amazing miracle.  It was life changing for me to be able to take the bible study and be able to participate and hear everything.  God used it to heal my heart about loosing my hearing and about Scott.  Than to top it off Sharon Betters came to speak at one of our ladies meetings.  That was like the cherry on top.  She is an incredibly faithful powerful woman who has been on the road I am on.  She too lost her son in a car accident at 16.  Just to see another woman that was on this road longer calling back to me saying “It’s OK you can do this with God’s grace”  was food for my soul.  I must say that I feel like a new woman because of all that God has blessed me with this past year.  My prayer is that I will be reminded daily of His goodness and be thankful continually.  That is a big prayer for me and I already have failed terribly BUT I know that there is new grace for me each morning.  So that is a little update from the past year.  I do plan to write about specific things as God places them on my heart.  It is good to be back and as always “To God Be the Glory!!!”

I know I have not posted in a long time.  I am back…I think.  I will be posting about this year later.  But first I have been tagged by Karen….So here goes.  These are in no particular order.

1.) I love hospitals.  Really I am very comfortable in them and they make me feel peaceful.  I guess that is because my mom was a nurse and I loved to go visit her at work.

2.) I have to have the toilet paper coming from the top.  Now I am not as bad as Briana, I do not change other peoples.  I will change mine in the house if someone else changed it.  Yeah like that will happen.

3.)  I eat cold food.  Like leftovers.  I love them cold.  I think that is because I am not patient enough to wait for them to heat up.

4.) I think I would like to work in a funeral-home…Weird I know I just would love to comfort people and be there for them at their most difficult time.

5.) Now that I can hear I dance…Anywhere there is music.  the grocery store, Big Lots, Elevators…It is actually funny.  People look at me like I am crazy but I could not hear for so long now when I hear music i just move.

6.) I talk to God out loud.  No matter where I am if I have to say something to God I say it out loud.  Well I do not shout it but if you ever see me mumbling that usually means God and I are talking…or I have completely lost it…LOL

7.) Mike thinks the weirdest thing about me is I have a computer chip in my head so I can hear…I will be posting about that later….

So I tag…Karen H if she is still blogging and KT my daughter.